Couch Classics

by Clint Westwood

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released November 8, 2013



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Clint Westwood San Diego, California

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Track Name: Rumble in the Pub
Down at happy hour everyone is getting pissed
Man it's getting rowdy and nobody gives a shit
Someone put on Slayer Reign in Blood on the jukebox
Drunk, five o clock, sniffin coke, doin shots
A hot summer night and a whole lot of drinkin goin on
The bar is getting crowded, people stepping on toes
Way too many dudes and not enough ho’s
H-A’s Vatos Squatters and meatheads
All fired up blacked out seeing red
Bumped an elbow spilled a whiskey on the rocks
Now there’s a whirlwind of fists throwing blows getting dropped

There’s a rumble in the pub
Sucker punch blind side
Some one’s got a knife
Bar stool from behind
Lets get drunk and start a fight

There’s a fine young thing throwing darts by herself
Suicide girl type bad for your health
You’re all greased up full of whiskey feeling good
She’s giving the look like a bad girl should
So you line up a shot and lean in close for the kill
She’s rubbing on your arms and waiving her hair
You’re thinking one more drink and she’s goin down there
Then a voice from behind says ‘hey Peckerhead!’
With his cauliflower ears and a Tap out V-neck
He swings and he missed, hit the dude next to you
Beer bottle in your hand, man you know what to do

There’s a rumble in the pub
Sucker punch blind side
Someone’s got a knife
Bar stool from behind
Pool cue in the eye
Lets get drunk and fuck shit up
Track Name: Old Milwaukee (Crosstops)
Sure is nice in San Francisco in the summertime
watching the fog roll by
I’m just a working man doing the best I can
Life ain’t no joke when you’re always broke
scrounging for liquor and smokes
Another year drinking dirt cheap beer passing time again

Drinking Old Milwaukee passing time again

Some time ago a crazy cold hearted woman stole up all of my love
She told me that I’m completely worthless
but she’s still all I’m thinking of
I was cruising around town and I stopped by her house
And found her fucking my best friend on the couch
So I doused the place in gasoline and burned it to the ground

Drinking Old Milwaukee losing all my friends
Drinking Old Milwaukee who needs those friends

I lived in the same stinking town for most of my days
I never got a real job I never got a raise
I broken TV and a view of the street was all I ever had
I spend most my nights getting drunk getting high
Man it ain’t so bad

Drinking Old Milwaukee waiting for the end
Track Name: Stranger
I’m a stranger here, stranger in my home town
Everybody’s walking, they walk right by
They don’t look me in the eye
Everybody talking, they talking lies
They don’t look me in the eye

On my own I’m a stranger here
All on my own, I’m a stranger here
I guess I’m headed southbound
On that old lonesome road

I sing my song but it falls on def ears
I play this here guitar but nobody seems to hear
Give me a quarter for the jukebox
I’m drowning in whiskey and beer

On my own I’m a stranger here
I guess I’m headed southbound
On that central coast corridor

I’m a dead man walking through troubled times
A shadow in the barroom with gypsy eyes
A drifter in a ghost town, a fly on the wall
Nobody says a word to me but I hear them all
Track Name: Pledge of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance to Pabst Blue Ribbon
It’s the only red white and blue that I can relate to
You may think that its un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being an alcoholic

I smoke and I drink, you lie steal and cheat
I’m broke, living cheap and I wanna secede

I pledge allegiance to bourbon whiskey
It’s the only medicine that really cures the pain
You may think that its un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being an alcoholic

I pledge allegiance to my brain on drugs
I blame the government for fooling everyone
You may think that it’s un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being hooked on narcotics

You pledge allegiance to god, guns and trucks
I must be a asshole, cause I think it all sucks
But I like ass and titties and that’s god damn patriotic
Cause there’s nothing more American than being idiotic

You pledge allegiance to corporate personhood
To sip that piss that trickles down and taste the greater good
Let’s string ‘em up there by there neck ties and burn ‘em with their profits
Cause there’s nothing more American than being fucking psychotic

You pledge allegiance to the TV
Fat dumb and drooling watching reality
So shove that remote up your ass and call it macaroni
Cause there’s nothing more American than being a fucking phony

I smoke and I drink, you lie steal and cheat
I’m broke, living free and I wanna secede
Stay away from me, you’re my enemy
I guess we’ll wait and see
Track Name: Drinkin' Man (Crosstops)
I’m just a drinkin man what do want from me?
There’s only so much I can stand of what you want from me
I’m tired of waking up everyday wishing I could leave this place
Drinking everything in arms reach to put a smile on my face
Passed out in the hallway again with one boot on
Had me a lady now she’s gone

I’m a drinkin man please leave me alone

It’s been so long I don’t even know
There aint nothing wrong with having no place to go
Because a real drinkin man don’t need anything at all
A real drinkin man don’t get no mail, no phone calls
A real drinkin man only buys himself a drink at the bar
Drinkin man rides the trolly cause they towed his car

I’m a drinkin man please leave me alone
Track Name: Cocaine Angel (Crosstops)
She’ll blow into town sipping on whiskey
You party all night but something’s just missing
Now you’re runnin ‘round though the shady part of town
On a mission for a fix, she’ll bring you down

Now she’s on the run, she’s not coming home
Down at the corner store dialing that pay phone
Going down her list to see who’s holding it
Fixing up her tits and waiting for a lift

One more line and she’s feeling nothing
She ain’t got no money she’s good for something
She’ll call out your name don’t get used to her
The cocaine angel belongs the pusher

She says she loves you, you know that she’s lying
One moment she’s laughing the next she’s crying
She’s so beautiful and strong
And she’ll fuck you from dusk till dawn
But as soon as she gets bored she’s moving on

Now you’re on the ground just like a flapping fish
A shot through the heart and a ride in the ambulance
She almost got you killed, left you with a hospital bill
No you walk through the door and find her swallowing all your pills

Now she’s freaking out, waiving a gun around
Leaves you gagged and bound and hops on the Greyhound
Can’t find your wallet, cause she took all of it
Its your fault admit you should have called it quits

One more line and you’re feeling nothing
She took all your money and skipped town so fuck it
She crossed our your name you got used by her
The cocaine angel belongs to the pusher
Track Name: Idle Hands
Listen to the wind
Voices are whispering ‘come in’
Can we come in?
It’s cruel to grow old
Each breath is slowly exhaling your soul
Cold and alone lucid dream
Your sweet memories
Please bring them back to me
Idle hands

Letters and photographs
Skipping record on a phonograph
An ocean of dust preserves the moment
when your life stood still
another year
the world keeps spinning
around you like old rusty gears
you no longer have the strength to sing
old sweet melodies
please bring them back to me
idle hands

anyone, can you hear me?
I forgive you for leaving me far behind
I swear I’ll be right there
Just as soon as I’ve done my time
If I drag my weak body outside
Will you guide it into the light?
I’m ready to die