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Pledge of Allegiance

from Couch Classics by Clint Westwood

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lyrics

I pledge allegiance to Pabst Blue Ribbon
It’s the only red white and blue that I can relate to
You may think that its un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being an alcoholic

I smoke and I drink, you lie steal and cheat
I’m broke, living cheap and I wanna secede

I pledge allegiance to bourbon whiskey
It’s the only medicine that really cures the pain
You may think that its un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being an alcoholic

I pledge allegiance to my brain on drugs
I blame the government for fooling everyone
You may think that it’s un-patriotic
But there’s nothing more American than being hooked on narcotics

You pledge allegiance to god, guns and trucks
I must be a asshole, cause I think it all sucks
But I like ass and titties and that’s god damn patriotic
Cause there’s nothing more American than being idiotic

You pledge allegiance to corporate personhood
To sip that piss that trickles down and taste the greater good
Let’s string ‘em up there by there neck ties and burn ‘em with their profits
Cause there’s nothing more American than being fucking psychotic

You pledge allegiance to the TV
Fat dumb and drooling watching reality
So shove that remote up your ass and call it macaroni
Cause there’s nothing more American than being a fucking phony

I smoke and I drink, you lie steal and cheat
I’m broke, living free and I wanna secede
Stay away from me, you’re my enemy
I guess we’ll wait and see

credits

from Couch Classics, released November 8, 2013

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Clint Westwood San Diego, California

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